Avocado Kills?

Jan Box, 32,

lost four of her fluffy, snow-

colored rabbits last Monday. The

persin got to them. Persin is a fungicidal

toxin that is fatal to animals, such as birds,

mice, cows, goats, sheep, horses, and, you

guessed it: rabbits. How can something so

ordinary--so edible to humans--be so dangerous

to cute, big-eyed animals? Headline reads

AVOCADO KILLS FOUR RABBITS. But, I know that my

sacred avocado is no murderer. Perhaps, friendly Jan

is the culprit here. After all, she says herself, "I was offered

several avocados as treats for my 18 rabbits." Treats? TREATS?!

Seems a little irresponsible if you ask me. Anyone with 18 rabbits

should know and understand their pet's diet. The sweetness in Jan's

voice does not dissuade me. "They chomped on them as they would a tasty

carrot." LIKE A CARROT? Rabbits know the difference between an avocado

and a carrot. Believe me: one's orange and the other's green. Let's not forget

that one's also a vegetable and the latter's a fruit! Luckily, the persin (or Jan)

only got to four of them. The other 14 survived. Scientists proclaim the most

dangerous of all supermarket-sold avocados is the Guatemalan avocado. My

question to you is: Is the avocado or the persin or the person the killer? If you're

lovely pet is experiencing stomach pains, vomiting, diarrhea, or breathing difficulty,

you should probably call a doctor. If you're pet is experiencing an amateur pet

owner, perhaps you should call a psychologist or a vet or your neighbor. Jans of our

communities must be closely watched! Jan had the nerve to end her interview with

local media, "All I can do now is warn other owners to prevent more unnecessary

deaths. I'm trying to turn this dreadful experience into a positive one by ensuring

other pet owners are aware of the dangers of persin. Then my four beloved

bunnies won't have died in vain." Local media: avocados aren't the ones to

be blamed here. If you feel the same way that I do, please reply to

katrinabenton@gmail.com--I'll share my famous guacamole

recipe! Just don't feed it to the rabbits, for Pete's sake!

*This story comes from an actual news story on the pet website, Burgess Pet Care. I found this article humorous because it deals with my multigenre topic in the most ridiculous of ways. So, I converted the story into a concrete poem with a dash of satire. Please do not feed avocado to your pets; it's highly fatal. http://www.burgesspetcare.co.uk/news/story/avocado-kills-four-rabbits.html